The “No-Prize” is a tradition at Marvel Comics that historically was awarded for astute readers who found a mistake in a comic book and wrote in a creative or clever explanation for why it wasn't a mistake. During my tenure as an assistant editor at Marvel Comics one of my responsibilities was reading and responding to letters in the various letter pages in the comics for which I was the assistant editor. One of those titles was The Mighty Thor and one day we received a letter requesting a No Prize. This wasn't the first request I'd read, but like so many others it simply pointed out an “error” without the additional creative component. So I took it upon myself, with the okay from Tom Brevoort, the editor I assisted, to “show 'em how it's done” (and make a go at some humorous writing as well).

To that end, please enjoy the original letter and the response…a response in four parts which originally appeared in The Mighty Thor, V.2, issues 18-21 (cover dated December 1999 - March 2000):


Hail!

First off, let me say...first time, long time. This is just a wee little tidbit. I am a sucker for detail and I want to know...WHAT IS THE STORY OF THOR'S HELMET? How did he get it back? He lost his helmet whilst doing battle with Hercules in Issue #6. As Thor's hammer hurtles with Zephyr speed at Herc, we see a bald guy kneeling down holding Thor's hammer (Herc knocked it off his mighty head) and the bald guys utters one mystical word..."Cool." So Thor fights valiantly through the rest of #6 and all through #7...dimension hopping as is his want...after all he is a GOD. But no helmet. Then suddenly... Poof. There is Thor's helmet on the splash page of Issue #8. So I make this offer.

Give me the whole tale...I want to know the story of Thor's helmet...how did he get it back? What did the bald guy do with the helmet? Inquiring minds MUST know. This is all I ask. Well that and a No-Prize. However...

If my request is ignored...I shall begin a petition. A most wicked and base petition. A petition to not only have a certain freewheeling, Quack-Fu practicing Duckworlder make a guest appearance in these very pages...Oh no...not only that. But to make said Duckworlder a recurring character. There is strength in numbers. Let the honor of the Thor staff be known...and deliver unto me the No-Prize. Grant me mine booty or feel the downy justice of a Duckworlder. Yea and verily...the No Prize shall be mine!

Health Be Unto All,
Trey
DeSoto, TX


So here it is, folks, because Trey demanded it, the story of Thor's helmet:

Corbin was thrilled. He had acquired an incredibly special little prize. He possessed the helmet of Thor…second only to the mighty Mjolnir itself as a treasured possession of the mighty Thunder God. For too long Corbin was mocked as a bald man. For too long he felt the sting of a woman's rejection, and the sharp pain of her giggling. Now, however, he had something. Better than money, better than an exotic sportscar, even better than a job in Hollywood; Corbin had Thor's helmet.

But the thrill didn't last long. He learned, quite quickly, that Thor's helmet only worked with long, blonde hair…which, as we've already covered, he did not have. He tried to wear it out to bars and clubs, but no dice. He would tell people had it back home, but no one believed him. He even moved to California, hoping the response would be different on the Pacific coast. But it was not the case. Hair plugs or a toupee would have served Corbin better. Thor's helmet was a wash. Corbin, angry, threw the helmet out of his hotel window, happy he'd never see it again…or his bald reflection in its shiny silver dome.

The helmet was alone now. No longer could it rest on Thor's godly mane. It was alone, cold and scared on the streets of Los Angeles. What was a helmet to do? The helmet considered several alternatives, including looking for work. But what kind of work was there for an ancient helmet when the new millennium was just around the corner? He was a smart helmet, but smart for a Viking helmet doesn't necessarily measure up to the many, many high school and college graduates competing in the job market. He considered writing a memoir, but then he'd have to find a publisher…and he wanted nothing to do with agents. It was tough. But the more he thought of it, the more he realized he loved the life of being a godly hero's headgear. He got to travel to different cities, countries and dimensions even. He met legendary figures like Captain America, Iron Man, even the Celestials. He even met family, especially Headcapper, the legendary helmet of Beta Ray Bill, and his future self, a simple winged headband. He wanted to return to that life. But at the same time, he realized he was, for the first time in his life, free. Free to strike out into a great world alone. To experience everything the world has to offer…not as a headgear, but as a helmet alone…a helmet free to decide and strike its own course.

The helmet would travel. Yes, he would traverse the continental United States, from Los Angeles to New York. He's experience all kinds of wonderful experiences. And in the end, he'd find his one, true owner, the mighty Thor, who was at that very moment wondering where his precious helmet had gone.
“'Twas 'pon mine own head but moments ago? Where didst it go?”

To be continued…

--

Now, when we last left Thor's helmet, it was stranded in California, having decided to travel cross country, back to New York, and the golden-locked head of the mighty Thor…

The helmet, tired of walking, hitchhiked its way to Idaho. It wasn't the most direct route from L.A. to New York, but the helmet was equally interested in exploring the world around him. He was hungry, having not eaten in days…and tired. He found himself at the door of a potato farm. He knocked three times.

A portly young woman, the wife of the farm's owner, came to the door. The helmet and the woman chatted about arrangements, and they came to an arrangement. Helmet would be welcome to stay, but he'd have to work the fields. And so it went, that Thor's silvery, winged helmet learned the ways of potato farming. One night, he met a young woman named Didi. She loved hearing helmet's tales of adventure. But in telling those tales, Thor's helmet one again remembered his ultimate goal. He'd spent nearly two weeks in Idaho, and now he realized he had to move along.

Meanwhile, Thor asked the Avengers' butler, Edwin Jarvis, “Hast thou seen mine helmet?” To which Jarvis replied, “Why, no sir, I haven't. But then again, perhaps I'd have a better time keeping track of such things if they had your initials on them…as your belt does. You never lose that, do you?”

To be continued…

--

On it's continuing journey to New York City and the long-haired scalp of the mighty Thor, Helmet left behind the potato farms of Idaho and took a train east.

The train detoured severely when Helmet arrived in Austin, Texas. Helmet was taken by the young, hip atmosphere. Helmet took in a Longhorns game, and even joined the cheerleading squad for a couple of cheers. The fun didn't last though, as Helmet was kicked out of Austin for admitting a fondness for the music of Tom Jones (“whoa-whoa-whoa, she's a lady”).

Not knowing where to go, Helmet ended up on a barge, traveling across the Gulf of Mexico to Miami, Florida! Helmet knew he was far from home, but couldn't pull himself from the beautiful beaches, wonderful water, and spectacular sun. Enjoying himself so much, he then traveled up to Orlando to visit Walt Disney World and the Universal Islands of Adventure (plug-plug), only to find no ride based on his owner, Thor.

What an affront! Thor was a god! Temples were built in his honor and there was no roller coaster recognizing him? At the very least they could have a kiosk selling Bifrost Rainbow-Flavored snow cones, right? Thor must be made aware of this at once! Now, more than ever, Helmet had to get back to New York. The honor of Asgard on this mortal plane was at stake!!

Meanwhile, Thor checked under the couch again. He found a silver dollar, which was pretty neat. But the silvery shimmer of the minted coin made him miss even more the silvery shine of his beloved helmet. “Woe art I,” said Thor.

To be continued…

--

…speaking of cross-country treks, it's time for the anxiously awaited conclusion to the epic journey of Thor's helmet, which we affectionately refer to as: Helmet…

After visiting the Universal Studios Islands of Adventure in Central Florida, Helmet realized that not only had he ventured too far from hs course of finding his owner, Thor, but there was not ride created in homage to his hammer-wielding, warrior-born owner. Helmet had to get back to New York.

Helmet thought about taking a train, or a bus, or even a plane, but none of those sufficed. Helmet thought long and hard and tried something it'd always wanted to try (this was a voyage of discovery after all). Helmet began to flap its wings. And flap and flap and flap…and it happened, he lifted off! Helmet was airborne! And he was moving swiftly to boot! As Helmet flew it grew tired and needed to rest its wings. But that was o problem as Helmet quickly discovered that the concave shape of its headpiece helped keep it afloat, like a parachute!

Moving swiftly but conserving energy, the silvery winged helmet flew up the east coast of the continental United States. Along the way, Helmet stopped in Georgia for a delicious peach, and even enjoyed some white water rafting in the Carolinas (you see, Helmet was making such good time using its wings, it MADE time for these other, recreational pursuits).

Helmet then made it up to Washington, D.C., our nation's capital, and stopped to observe the House of Representatives in session. It found the proceedings much more engaging live, and realized that C-SPAN and C-SPAN 2 didn't really do them justice.

Finally, Helmet made one last stop in Hershey, Pennsylvania, for a much needed sugar-boost, before heading to New York, the Big Apple, the town so nice they named it twice, and the home of not only Thor, but mighty Marvel Comics (that's us!).

Upon reaching NYC, Helmet saw the Statue of Liberty and began to cry, thinking what it must have felt like when his European brethren arrived on these shores for the very first time.

A couple of flaps up Fifth Avenue landed Helmet mack-dab on the front lawn of Avengers Mansion. Helmet rang the doorbell, and the Avengers' erstwhile manservant, Edwin Jarvis answered. At first, expecting to see a person (and not seeing one, in that Helmet's only, maybe, a foot tall), Jarvis shut the door. But then Hemet rang the bell again and hovered at eye level.

“Oh, goodness,” exclaimed Jarvis. “Master Thor will be so very pleased!”

Jarvis carried the helmet to Thor's room where he was watching “Two Fat Ladies” on television. During a commercial, Jarvis announced the arrival of Helmet.

“'Tis wonderful news of the return of my head westments,” rang Thor. “Now, mayhaps I can return to my adventures as Midgard's protector and Asgardian Thunder God.”

And with that, Thor put his shiny, silver, winged helmet upon his golden locks, and off they went to THOR #8.

THE END


And that, Trey of DeSoto, Texas, is how you win a No-Prize. Petitions will get you nowhere.